What's MY Ideal Body?!

Apparently there are limitations to the $5 wifi on SW Air….I can get to blogger, but I couldn’t write a new blog post, so I’m writing it in Word and I’ll copy it in later.  Keeping it old school! I was even going to start the post out all giddy and immature to be blogging in the air somewhere over the great state of Iowa!

Anyway, I could read back to the last post where I indicated that I was going to blog daily…sorry.  I wasn’t avoiding doing it, I was just flat out busy!  I wish I had time to enjoy the sites of Denver on one of these trips, but by the time I get home from the office, I’m in no mood to do much.  I did however make good use of the gym and of the kitchen!  I got my ducks in a row before I even checked in and went grocery shopping.  Got enough food to last me the week and did some cooking for dinners.  Lunch was a bit tricky since I realized I had nothing to transport my food in.  Back out to the store to pick up some baggies – it wasn’t always neat, but it worked.  So food was on task, I exercised and while I wasn’t perfect (we covered that already didn’t we?) it felt WAY better than it did last week.

But that’s not what I wanted to chat about today (even though I wore 2 pairs of pants this week that I could take off without unbuttoning!!! Oh – TMI???!!)  On the FitChixx page tonight the following question was asked – “what is your ideal body...you know the one that you try your hardest to achieve in the gym?”  What’s interesting about this question is that my FitChixx Challenge friend Kasey and I were talking about this over dinner at the beginning of the week.  So it’s been on my mind and I knew that it would be my next blog post.

See, the thing is, I don’t know that I have an “ideal” body.  Sure, sure, I guess I know what I’d LIKE to look like, but since I’ve NEVER even come CLOSE to looking like I would LIKE to look, I just don’t think I can go there.  I promise, this is not an excuse – I also promise this is not me crapping all over myself or filling myself with negative talk.  But for me, having an amazing body, one I worked hard for is like winning the lottery.  Even though I play every once in a while, winning always happens to someone else.

Look, I’ve been overweight all of my life.  Mostly anyway.  And in my head while looking at pictures of toned, hard bodies with tight abs and sculpted thighs, I rationalize why that can’t happen to me.  Please again, don’t misunderstand me – I’m not being all negative, but I’ve got YEARS of skin that’s going to be hanging and I’m pretty sure it won’t be pretty when I lose all of this weight.  It's just too hard to even visualize!  Even with the working out I’m doing.  I’ve actually googled for images of people that might fit my criteria – obese women that are now fit – or – from obese to fit – I still haven’t found what I’m looking for (anyone singing U2 right now cuz I totally am!)  I get that my body might need plastic surgery (and it’s going to have to  STAY needing plastic surgery because I am NOT going under the knife), but ultimately that’s why I can’t wrap my brain about what my ideal body will look like.  Honestly, I just want my body to be a whole lot smaller than it is today.  I want my body to be able to do things in the next 46 years that it’s never done in the first 46 years. I want my body to respond to exercise in a positive way – and not like I was killing it.  I want my body to be around for a long, long time to see my kids grow up and play with my grandkids like I was never able to do with my own kids.  Whaddya know…I guess I do have an ideal body in mind.

Love ya! xoxo