So, if you've read my past blog posts you've read about how I've been unsure about being able to "do this". My committment level in the past has showed that to me over and over again. But, I didn't think I'd be dealing with it so early this time.
This was a tough week for me. I was traveling (1), went through 3 time zones so I was exhausted (2), busy working from first thing in the morning until later in the evening (3), and was in a hotel room without a fridge so I ate out every meal (4)
Needless to say, all of the above added up to straying FAR off plan. So far off plan that I wasn't even aware that I was on a plan. Well that's not exactly true. I was VERY aware of what I was puting in my mouth. Very aware that just about everything was NOT what I was supposed to be eating. And each and every bite I told myself "I shouldn't be eating this." Every morning and night I lazed in my hotel room and nagged myself to get up, exercise, DO SOMETHING! And I didn't.
See, the above numbered statements are excuses. Something I'm quite good at. I'm also very good at hiding - which is what I've been doing as well. I've been too "busy" to write this blog post. Too "busy" to post on FB to my FUEL Chixx....I barely even read the posts I was beating myself up so badly and felt so much guilt.
A couple of things happened along the way though. One was a quote I read -
"The two hardest things to handle in life are failure and success."
I realized as soon as I read that just how true it is for me. I've certainly experienced failure...I"ve covered that already. I've even experienced success in so many other areas of my life. Just not in this area at all! I'm not up for exploring the WHY's right now, it's enough just to acknowledge it (although I do have some pretty good insight's into this).
The other thing I realized is that I've goten myeslf an amazing network of support and I didn't use it AT ALL!!! I mean seriously. I've got nearly 30 people that I'm going through this with - I have nearly all of their phone numbers to text, I have FB messaging capabilities and they have ALL shown that they CARE about how I'm doing. And honestly that's what this blog post is about. I pretended this week (by my absence) that all was WONDERFUL when in reality all, well, SUCKED.
I have a plan though. Which I have to say is more than I've had in the past. The first part of the plan was writing this blog. As difficult and embarrassing it is for me, I will be posting this. The second part of this plan came from one of my favorite Chixx....Katie posted this on FB just this morning and I swear, when I'm done with this I'm getting this tattooed on my somewhere or other...
Next part of plan...I'm traveling again this coming week. Although I had snacks planned out for the trip last week, I didn't do much with everything else. So, this is what I did this time....I switched my hotel. Why is that so siginificant? Because this one has a full kitchen. And my PerDiem food allowence includes shopping at the grocery store. And there is a grocery store right around the corner from my hotel. So, I've got my FUEL book, I've got my snacks, I've got my corporate credit card and I've got my plan in place. I'm committing myself - in writing - to blog every day...even if it's just a short post to confirm that I'm on plan. I'm going to post every day on FB that I've done what I was supposed to do - OR that I fell short of the goals. I'm going to use the resources and support that I have gathered to the MAX this week.
So don't let me off the hook friends. I don't want to slack off at this. I want to look back at the end of this 13 weeks and know that I did it. That I accomplished what I set out to do. Which to be honest with you, isn't a feeling I get very often.
Thanks for sticking with me! xoxo
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